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Article: Should You Pick Out an Engagement Ring Together? A Complete Guide

Should You Pick Out an Engagement Ring Together? A Complete Guide

Should You Pick Out an Engagement Ring Together? A Complete Guide

Engagement rings hold significant meaning for couples, symbolising their love, commitment, and the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. An important decision to make when planning a proposal is whether to select an engagement ring together or to surprise your partner with one.

Picking out an engagement ring together has gained popularity among couples, as it allows for collaboration and ensures both partners' preferences are considered.

We'll dive in to all the pros and cons of choosing an engagement ring together as a couple.


The Tradition of Engagement Rings

Brief history of engagement rings

Engagement rings date back to ancient times, with Egyptians and Romans exchanging rings as a symbol of eternity. The circular shape of the ring represented an unending love and commitment.

Over time, the tradition evolved, with diamond engagement rings gaining popularity after Archduke Maximillian of Austria presented one to Mary of Burgundy in 1477.

The immense strength and beauty of a diamond has made it a lasting symbol of eternal love. A long lasting tradition that has continued to this day.

Customs and traditions surrounding engagement rings

Australia has adopted many Western engagement ring traditions, such as presenting a diamond ring during a surprise proposal. Traditionally, the proposer would choose the ring based on their knowledge of their partner's preferences, often seeking advice from friends and family.

However, modern couples are increasingly choosing to break with these customs and select their rings together, allowing for a more collaborative approach.


Why Some Couples Choose to Pick Out an Engagement Ring Together

Ensuring the ring suits the wearer's style and preferences

Selecting an engagement ring together guarantees that the ring aligns with the wearer's personal taste and complements their daily style. This ensures that the ring will be cherished and worn with pride for years to come.

Sharing the financial responsibility

Discussing the ring budget openly allows couples to share the financial responsibility and make informed decisions about the ring's design and materials.

This transparency can help set a strong foundation for financial communication and decision-making throughout the couple's life together.

Making the process more enjoyable and memorable

Choosing an engagement ring together can strengthen the bond between partners, turning the ring selection process into a cherished memory. This collaborative experience can set the tone for a successful and supportive partnership.

Inclusion of alternative and non-traditional ring options

Shopping together enables couples to explore a range of unique and non-traditional ring options that may not have been considered otherwise. From alternative gemstones to custom designs, selecting a ring together allows for greater creativity and personalisation.


The Magic of the Surprise Proposal

The element of surprise and its emotional impact

Many people still value the surprise factor of a proposal, as it can create a memorable and emotional moment. The unexpected nature of the event can heighten the joy and excitement experienced by both partners.

The significance of the partner selecting the ring

There is often sentimental value in one partner taking the time and effort to choose a ring that they believe represents their love and commitment. This thoughtful gesture can demonstrate a deep understanding of the partner's preferences and desires.

The role of friends and family in helping choose the perfect ring

Seeking advice from close friends and family can help ensure the chosen ring aligns with the wearer's preferences while still maintaining the element of surprise.

These confidants can provide valuable insight into the partner's style and tastes, increasing the likelihood of selecting the perfect ring.


Pros and Cons of Choosing an Engagement Ring Together


  • Guarantees a ring that fits the wearer's taste: By selecting the ring together, couples can ensure that the ring truly reflects the wearer's personal style and preferences, resulting in a cherished piece of jewellery.
  • Provides an opportunity for the wearer to show their partner a ring they may have already seen.
  • Reduces the stress of finding the perfect ring: Shopping together can alleviate the pressure of trying to find the ideal ring without input from the intended wearer, making the process more enjoyable for both partners.
  • Promotes open communication and collaboration: Choosing an engagement ring together encourages honest discussions about preferences, budget, and expectations, fostering a strong foundation for future decision-making as a couple.


  • Takes away the surprise element: When couples choose a ring together, the surprise factor of the proposal can be diminished, as the partner being proposed to will know that a proposal is forthcoming.
  • May lead to disagreements or conflict: Selecting a ring together can sometimes introduce stress or conflict if partners have different tastes, preferences, or ideas about the ring's cost and design.
  • Can create pressure on both parties: The ring selection process may create pressure for both partners to agree on a ring, which could lead to rushed decisions or settling for a less-than-perfect option.


Tips for Couples Shopping For A Ring Together

Set a budget beforehand

Agree on a budget for the engagement ring before shopping to ensure both partners are comfortable with the financial commitment. Establishing a price range can help narrow down options and prevent overspending.

Also discuss any additional design elements you know you may that may impact the final cost.

Research and create a list of preferred ring styles

Gather inspiration and create a list of desired ring styles and features to streamline the shopping process. This can include preferences for specific gemstones, metals, or design elements.

Consider browsing online sources, social media, and magazines to discover popular trends, timeless classics, and unique designs that resonate with both partners. Discuss your findings and compile a shared list that reflects your combined vision.

Visit reputable Australian jewellers

Choose reputable jewellers to ensure quality craftsmanship and ethical sourcing practices. Researching and selecting local Australian jewellers can also support small businesses within the community. Don't be afraid to ask around for any recommendations to find trusted professionals.

Schedule appointments with multiple jewellers to compare their offerings, prices, and customer service, ensuring you find the perfect fit for your needs.

Consider customising the ring for a personal touch

Customising the engagement ring adds a unique, personal element that truly represents the couple's love story. You can create a stunning one-of-a-kind ring working with a jeweller you trust.

Discuss your ideas and preferences with the jeweller to determine the feasibility and cost of creating a custom piece. Be prepared to invest time in the design process, as custom rings often require multiple consultations and adjustments before final approval.

Don't rush the decision-making process

Take the time to explore various options, there should be no rush. Patience and thorough consideration can lead to greater satisfaction with the final choice.

Avoid making impulsive decisions based on sales pressure or limited-time offers. Instead, take a step back and discuss your options privately, ensuring you both feel confident and excited about your selection.

Communicate openly and honestly

Maintaining open and honest communication throughout the ring selection process is crucial for a positive experience. Share your thoughts, concerns, and preferences openly with your partner, and be receptive to their feedback.

Take note of each other's ring size

To ensure a proper fit, make sure to know each other's ring size before shopping. You can visit a local jeweller to have your finger professionally measured, or use an online guide and a piece of string or paper to measure at home.

Having the correct size will prevent the need for resizing after the proposal and ensure the ring is comfortable to wear.

Consider the return or exchange policy

When selecting a ring together, it's essential to familiarise yourself with the jeweller's return or exchange policy. Although you're shopping together, there may still be a chance that one partner changes their mind about the design or encounters an issue with the ring.

Understanding the policy can provide peace of mind and ensure you're protected in case any adjustments are needed.

Should Couples Split the Cost of an Engagement Ring?

Traditional expectations

Traditionally, the person proposing would bear the full cost of the engagement ring.  Often spending a significant amount of their savings to purchase a ring that symbolises their love and commitment.

This practice has been long-standing and is still followed by many couples today. However, modern relationships have evolved, and with that, so have the financial dynamics surrounding engagement rings.

Assessing your financial situation as a couple

Before deciding whether to split the cost of an engagement ring, it is crucial for couples to discuss their individual financial situations openly and honestly. This conversation should cover aspects such as income, debt, savings, and future financial goals.

Understanding each other's financial standing will help make an informed decision about how to approach the engagement ring purchase.

Benefits of sharing the cost

Splitting the cost of an engagement ring can have several benefits, including:

  • Reducing the financial burden on one partner: By sharing the expense, both partners contribute to the symbol of their love and commitment, preventing one partner from bearing the full financial weight.
  • Encouraging financial transparency and teamwork: Discussing and agreeing on a shared budget can foster open communication and teamwork, setting a strong foundation for future financial decisions as a couple.
  • Expanding the ring options: A combined budget may allow for a wider range of ring styles, materials, or gemstones, providing more choices and flexibility during the selection process.

How to Keep the Proposal a Surprise Even When Choosing the Ring Together

Plan a creative and unexpected proposal

Despite knowing the ring, the proposal itself can still be a delightful surprise. Plan something creative and unexpected to catch your partner off guard and create a memorable experience.

Incorporate personal touches and meaningful elements

Include sentimental details, such as engraving something special on the inside band, incorporating a small stone on the inside that has sentimental significance. Or, using a significant location or cherished memories, to make the proposal uniquely special. This personalisation can demonstrate a deep understanding of your partner and your shared history.

Involve close friends and family in the surprise

Get together with friends and family to plan a surprise event or gathering that leads up to the proposal. This will make the proposal even more memorable and enjoyable for everyone involved. 


We've explored the various aspects of selecting an engagement ring as a couple, looking at the pros and cons of this approach. Ultimately, the decision to choose an engagement ring together or separately should be based on the preferences and dynamics of each individual couple.

Remember, the most important aspect of this exciting milestone is the love and commitment shared between both partners, regardless of how the ring selection process unfolds.

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